I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Pooping to opera.
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