Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
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I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
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I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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