My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
