Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
handjob tips. give me some.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
