eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
