Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
