I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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