garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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