This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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