These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize