loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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