I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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