is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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