oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
