I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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