the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
