We're like a lot better than the average bears
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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