So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize