He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
3 2 1 whiskey
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
