:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
