yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
