It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
