he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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