Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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