I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize