Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
