I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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