He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
