oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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