if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
