He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
