I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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