I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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