He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.