you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize