I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize