I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
