Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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