Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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