Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
