So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
