bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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