Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
