It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
