i just had sex bonerless
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
