sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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