I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
