I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
