I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
