BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
