"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize