Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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