community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
