Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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