whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize